What I’m reading
This past few months I’ve been heavily influenced by two very different books on grief. That’s because my much-loved mother, ‘Queen’ Betty passed away on 14 January this year. Given Mum was 98 you would think we would have had a lot of time to be ready for this sad loss. But no, of course we weren’t. When she was declining in late December and early January, I read Bronny Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Written by a palliative carer, it’s partly an instruction on ‘letting go’, but so much more. At heart, it offers a recipe for living well; how not to waste time in your own life, but to cut to the chase and pursue the things that matter. So as an insight into what to expect when you are grieving the loss of a loved one, I’m not sure this is the book I would recommend. But if you are at the stage of evaluating your priorities and designing your future life (and let’s face it, most of us are an ongoing work-in-progress), then Ware’s reflections offer insightful food for thought.
I have also recently finished Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks. This is a non-fiction ‘diary’ of the days after the sudden death of Brooks’ husband, Tony Horowitz in 2019. Most readers will know Brooks from her award-winning fiction titles such as Year of Wonders or March, or perhaps her more recent bestseller, Horse. Memorial Days is a radical departure for this writer, chronicling the days and year after the loss of her husband, her best friend and the father of her children. It is raw, contemplative, at times angry, and always questioning. That is why I think it offers so much for those trying to navigate their own particular loss. Brooks raises important questions about how we feel about our relationship with someone who is no longer by our side. How might we process their loss and how we can recognise the tiny green shoots of a new life without them, as painful as that may seem. I would recommend this book to anyone, grieving or not, as ultimately, it is a hymn to life as it goes on.